Let's focus on our faith

      For the first time in my life, I went skiing this week. And in the beginning, it was the absolute worst. The first time I went down the mountain, I fell on every hill we went down. I would fall halfway down the hill and then just ride down on my butt until we hit a flat part. At that point, my friend Jack had to yank me up (because it is way hard to stand with giant skis on your feet). The only time I managed not to fall was the hill right at the bottom of the mountain. And even though I hadn't fallen, by the time I got to the bottom of the mountain I was ready to go home. It was miserable falling over and over again. But my friends dragged me on the lift a second time, and then a third.
      By the third time down the mountain, I felt practically like a pro. Granted, I totally wasn't, but I didn't fall once. And that felt like a huge accomplishment to me. I realized that I would have never accomplished this had I not gotten back up and tried again (with major help from my friends). When went down the mountain the second time, I reminded myself that I hadn't fallen on that last hill. And sure enough, it worked. Before every hill I reminded myself I hadn't fallen on the last, so I wouldn't this time. In my head, I told myself over and over again that I would not fall. I decided I was going to focus on the times that I hadn't fallen, rather than the times that I had. If I had let the fear of falling take my focus, there is no way I was going to make it down that mountain without falling.
       This week in class, we were taught a similar idea. We were in Moses 5, and we read about the sacrifices Adam and Eve and their children had offered to the Lord. After several days of sacrifices, an angel appeared unto Adam and asked why they are offering a sacrifice to the Lord and Adam tells the angel that he "know[s] not, save the Lord commanded [him]" (verse 6). We expounded on this statement in class. Adam knew what he was supposed to do (sacrifice the animals) and he knew how to do it. But he wasn't sure why. And that's okay, because he didn't let that get in the way of following the commandments he's been given. Adam didn't let what he didn't know to get in the way of what he did know. This reminded my of President Uchtdorf's well known quote : "doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith."
     Like I hadn't focused on the times I had fallen, we shouldn't focus on the times that we fail. Or the times that we doubt. We should focus on our faith. We should focus on the times that we hadn't fallen, and when we do fall, we should focus on standing back up again. Trying again. I would have never experienced the amazing thrill of skiing down that mountain if I hadn't gotten back up and tried again, and I feel that we won't be able to truly experience all that life has to offer if we stay down.

Please enjoy this really bad picture :)

He had not failed me

     The night before I flew out to Utah to attend BYU, I had a moment of panic. I had just said goodbye to the last of my friends. My room was all packed up. The pictures of all of my friends that are typically hanging on my wall were packed away in a suitcase so I could bring them here. I was so scared. I turned to one of my goods friends, Jesse, and sent him the following texts: "Okay but what if I'm not good enough?" "What if I'm not smart enough and I fail my classes?" "What if I'm not social enough and I don't make any good friends?" "What if this was all a huge mistake and I should be staying home?" I was quite honestly scared out of my mind. I was in tears, convinced that I was making the biggest mistake of my life. How could I leave my friends and my family like this? Up until this point I had been so excited to leave, so why was I now panicking? 

     It took me a few weeks to answer both those questions, but I eventually found answers. After a few weeks in Utah, I am convinced this is not the biggest mistake of my life. So far, I have not failed any of my classes (but I suppose that is still subject to change since it has only been two weeks), I have made friends who are all amazing, and as much as I miss home, I know this is where I am supposed to be.
     As a part of my religion class, we were assigned a semester long project that will help us draw closer to the Lord and will help broaden our knowledge. The project I chose is to study an hour's worth of General Conference talks every week, and to keep a journal. So this past week, I was scrolling through General Conference talks, looking for a talk that might stick out to me. Today, I ended up with a talk by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf (because let's face it, he's amazing). Within the first few paragraphs of his talk "Learn from Alma and Amulek", President Uchtdorf talks about how Alma "humbly, earnestly placed his trust in Christ's atoning power."
     It was that moment when I realized why I had panicked so much the night before I left. I had put my trust in myself, alone. I had not put trust in Heavenly Father or Jesus Christ, and because I had failed to do so, Satan took his hold on me. He tried to convince me that I was doing was wrong, and that I was making a huge mistake. In a speech given at BYU in 2001, Elder David A. Bednar said

       "Most of us clearly understand that the Atonement is for sinners. I am not so sure, however, that we know and understand that the Atonement is also for saints—for good men and women who are obedient and worthy and conscientious and who are striving to become better and serve more faithfully. I frankly do not think many of us “get it” concerning this enabling and strengthening aspect of the Atonement, and I wonder if we mistakenly believe we must make the journey from good to better and become a saint all by ourselves through sheer grit, willpower, and discipline, and with our obviously limited capacities.
       Brothers and sisters, the gospel of the Savior is not simply about avoiding bad in our lives; it also is essentially about doing and becoming good. And the Atonement provides help for us to overcome and avoid bad and to do and become good. There is help from the Savior for the entire journey of life—from bad to good to better and to change our very nature."

     I had not placed my trust in Christ's atoning sacrifice, that I can grow and better myself and learn how to serve more faithfully through this experience at BYU. I had believed that I had to do it alone, and because of this weakness, I was vulnerable to the adversary. But as said at the end of President Uchtdorf's talk, "Our beloved Savior knows where you are. He knows your heart. He wants to rescue you. He will reach out to you. Just open your heart to him."
      I know that the Lord knew what I needed when I arrived at BYU. I have been blessed with two amazing roommates, who never fail to make me feel at home and involved. My professors are entertaining and lively, and keep even boring subjects entertaining. I have been blessed with modern technology that I can easily keep in touch with my family and friends. Though I had failed to place my trust in Christ and His power, He had not failed me. And He never will.

Who am I? Why was I sent here and now?

     This past week in my religion class we have been studying the first chapter in the book of Moses, which is found in the Pearl of Great Price. The lesson started off with my professor warning us that whenever we reach a spiritual high, right before, or right after, we will hit a low. Satan does not want us to to be stable in our faith. He will do whatever he can to tear us down and drive away the spirit. He does not want us to succeed. He wants us to question our spiritual experiences, and he wants us to question Heavenly Father. Because when we succeed, he fails

     My professor related this knowledge to Moses 1. Moses is visited by God. God meets Moses half way and tells him "Behold, I am the Lord God Almighty, and Endless is my name; for I am without beginning of days or end of years; and is not this endless?" (verse 3). God later refers to Moses as "my son" three times.This knowledge that Moses was the son of God was important enough for God to repeat it three times. This knowledge relates to us, too. We are the children of God. And that is our identity. That is who we are. We are sons and daughters of an Almighty God, who loves us. 

      After being visited by God, after reaching a spiritual high, Moses is immediately visited by the devil. He is immediately faced with tribulation that is the complete opposite of the spirit he felt being in the presence of God. After several failed attempts, Moses is able to make Satan leave by calling upon the name of Christ (verse 21 & 22).

     After the visitation by Satan, Moses is able to call back the presence of God. The Lord tells Moses "And worlds without number have I created; and I also created them for mine own purpose; and by the Son I created them, which is mine Only Begotten" (verse 33). The knowledge that the Lord has created countless amount of worlds had not been foreign to me. I had the conversation with my parents and in church several times. But my professor brought up a question that had never crossed my mind. If God had created so many worlds, why was Jesus Christ born on our earth? 

     With this question, our class went to Moses 7. In verse 26 we read that Enoch "beheld Satan; and he had a great chain in his hand, and it veiled the whole face of the earth with darkness; and he looked up and laughed, and his angels rejoiced." And Enoch turned to the Lord "And it came to pass that the God of heaven looked upon the residue of the people, and he wept" (verse 27). Now, I don't know about you, but that speaks testaments to me. Heavenly Father loves us so much, even though he has created worlds without number, that he would weep for us. We live on the most wicked planet, so Heavenly Father sent his most holy. He sent His Only Begotten Son, so we could be saved. So we can return to our Heavenly Father. Heavenly Father sent His prophets so they could guide and direct us in time or peril. And He sent us.

     My professor ended the class by asking us a few questions, that I will in turn ask you. Who are you? Why were you sent here? Why were you sent here now? I personally believe that we were all sent here to fight the chains that Satan has bound our world in. We are here to fight the wicked and the sin and to bring righteousness to this world. 

     I have learned so much in my class, and it has only been two days. I have gained knowledge and been asked questions that motivate me to be the best and most righteous I can possibly be, and I encourage you to all do the same. We were sent here to better this world. We were sent to this earth for a reason. The same earth that Christ was born on.