Seek ye first the kingdom of God

     In Matthew chapter 6, verse 33, it reads "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." As I am nearing the end of my first 

semester in college, I have seen this verse come into play in my life over and over again. 

     One of the most important things I have learned about myself this semester is the only way I can be productive is when I stay focused on my devotion to the Lord. The most productive I had been all semester was when I would head straight to the library after classes, and read the Book of Mormon before I did anything else. It was only when I did my scripture reading first that I would feel motivated to get things done.

     There were days where I would push scripture reading to be the last thing that I would do (mostly because of pressing deadlines). On those days, everything seemed to drag. If I got everything done, it was barely. My stress levels would go up, and I would end up miserable by the end of the night. But whenever I read my scriptures first, I always managed to finish everything with the least amount of stress I could experience.

      Though college can be extremely overwhelming, I know I am not going through it alone. Not only are there 30,000+ students who are suffering alongside with me, but I know Heavenly Father is here to assist me with all the things I have been asked to do. 

Christ and His Atonement

        A few weeks ago, we talked about the Atonement and my professor reminded us the importance of keeping Christ in the equation. He mentioned to us that as members of the church, we often give all the credit to the Atonement, and not to Christ. I found this really interesting. It's not something I've ever thought about before, but it's something that became extremely important to me. Christ suffered so much for us, it is important for us to remember what He has done for us.
      A talk given by Russell M. Nelson this past weekend reiterated the idea. He expressed that "it is the Savior who suffered, it is the Savior who broke the bands of death, it is the Savior who paid the price for our sins and transgressions and blotched them out on condition of our repentance. It is the Savior who delivers us from physical and spiritual death." This quote filled me with love for the Savior and what He has done for all of us. It taught me the importance of involving Christ when we talk about the Atonement. And how it is incomplete doctrine to shortcut the phrase. I am grateful for the knowledge that my professor and President Nelson have provided me with.

The Power of Prayer

      One of the greatest lessons I've learned since I arrived at BYU is the power of prayer. I have realized how important it is to consult with Heavenly Father in everything we do. Although every decision we have to make is ultimately our choice, Heavenly Father will always leads us to the correct path. He won't lead us astray, because He wants what is best for us and He wants us to make it back to Him.
      A little over a week ago, I received the greatest testament of prayer I had ever experienced. For BYU's spring break, my friends and I went to California for the weekend. So many of us went, that we ended up filling three cars. As we left campus, the car I was in said a quick prayer that we would travel in safety. In the beginning of our drive, we were all extremely excited and we were jamming out to music. When we were about a half hour outside of Las Vegas, the car settled down. I decided to try and sleep, since it would be a long night, but I could not get the thought of a car accident out of my head. I kept thinking of a car accident, and the thought to say another prayer quickly followed. Part of me thought I was just being paranoid, so I made the deal with myself that if the thought of a car accident was still bothering me in five minutes, that I would suggest we say another prayer. Needless to say, I didn't even survive a minute. The thought of a car accident was so prominent in my head I couldn't think of anything else. So I sat up and told my friends Emily and Ana, who were in the front, that I thought we should say another prayer.
     So, I said another quick prayer that all three cars would be able to travel safely. About 45 minutes later, we stopped for gas. As we were driving out of the gas station, my friend Jarom stopped us, saying he wanted to take out his contacts. We waited a moment while he did so, and then quickly we were back on the road. After about 10-15 minutes of driving, we found ourselves in a stand still. We were all frustrated that we weren't moving, it was late, and we all just really wanted to sleep. For 30 minutes we just sat there, only guessing why we were still there. Eventually, a man came up to our window and explained there was a horrible car accident just up ahead and that safety vehicles were coming shortly to take care of it. After waiting for awhile longer, we all got restless and got out of the car to see if the safety vehicles had made any progress. I was completely shocked when we made the 30 second walk to the accident. We were so close to the accident. I am 100% convinced that if Jarom hadn't stopped to take out his contacts, or if my friend Jack was driving just a little bit faster, we would have been in that car accident.
     Last night I was reading in Mosiah 23, and in verse 28 it says "Therefore they..., they began to cry unto the Lord that he would soften the hearts of the Lamanites..." followed by "And it came to pass that the Lord did soften the hearts of the Lamanites." in verse 29. These two verses are just another example of how the Lord answers our prayers and how there can be real power in them. I am eternally grateful for the promptings of the Holy Spirit and for the power of prayer. I am grateful that through both of those, I was able to be protected.

Charity is the love of Christ

     In my religion class, we are assigned two papers throughout the semester. This past week, I have been working on the second paper. The topic being "I want to be better," we were to choose a Christ-like attribute and study it and somehow apply it to our lives. I decided to do charity, and guys, it seriously changed my life. For the research portion, I read Thomas S. Monson's talk "Charity Never Faileth" that he gave in October of 2010. If you haven't read it, I strongly encourage you to do so because it was amazing.
     President Monson's talk really helped me understand charity. I know that charity is a well-known topic in the gospel, and though I've heard it talked about often, I wasn't sure how to develop the characteristic. President Monson described charity as "the opposite of criticism and judging." He goes on to say that "charity... forgives,... charity is patient." He tells us that charity implies that we are sympathetic, compassionate, and merciful. That we should be quick to forgive those who have wronged us and be patient with those that let us down. After reading President Monson's talk, I was able to better understand charity. President Monson tells us that "love is action" and throughout the week, I have become a witness of this. It is constantly give love to everyone, even to those who are hard. It is service and kindness and patience, without expecting anything in return.
     As I tried to act in love and patience throughout the week, I was able to feel Christ's love for me and for everyone else. It really helped me understand that charity is the pure love of Christ. Christ loves all of us completely and perfectly, and when we are charitable, we are harnessing that love and we can feel it for ourselves and for those around us.

He believes in us

     This past week I have been reading in Mosiah for my scripture study. I was reading chapter 7, and verse 33 says "But if ye will turn to the Lord with full purpose of heart, and put your trust in him, and serve him with all diligence of mind, if ye do this, he will, according to his own will and pleasure, deliver you out of bondage." Now I know I touched on this last week, but this scripture really just affirmed to me the love that God has for all of us.
     The phrase "according to his own will and pleasure" implies that He wants to deliver us out of bondage. He wants us to be happy. He wants us to be righteous and to be obedient to the commandments because He wants to be with us again. A few years ago I had a thought that comes to my mind often. Heavenly Father let us go, knowing that some of us may never return. He loves us so much that He blessed us with this experience on earth, knowing that some of us would mess up. But He believes in us, and if we are obedient to Him, He will be more than happy to let us be back in His presence.

God truly does love all of us

      Yesterday during our testimony meeting, I noticed a reoccurring theme in all the testimonies shared. Maybe not directly stated, but all testified of God's love for His children. The thought has been on my mind recently, that God truly does love all of us.
      For my scripture study, I have been reading the Book of Mormon with the question "How do I know that my Heavenly Father loves me?" And every day before reading, I pray that I may be able to find ways that God has shown His love for me. And let me tell you, it has worked wonders. I haven't gone a single day without finding at least one way that God has shown His love for me, and for all of His children. I've realized that when you ask for confirmation of His love, He will never leave you hanging. He will never leave you just to hope and guess His love for you. He will show you, you just have to be looking. In the words of the Young Women Theme, "We are [children] of our Heavenly Father, who loves us."

The Happiest Way to Live

     This past weekend was one of the busiest weekends I've had since I've gotten here. Within my friend group, half of us are sick, and the other half are sleep deprived. All of us pushed our homework off until last minute (causing Ana to stay up until 5 am), many of us took some serious injuries from disco skating, and yet I thin I can speak for my entire friend group that this past weekend was one of the best we've had. So as I reflect on the past weekend, I try to figure out what was so amazing about it. What made this crazy busy weekend different from all the rest? The answer wasn't that hard to come by. Two of my friends, Jarom and Chad, got their mission calls (one to Australia and one to Costa Rica if y'all were curious) and my friend, Hannah, got engaged!
     I am 100% convinced that this weekend was amazing because we all were living the gospel. The two soon-to-be missionaries have so much faith in the gospel, they are willing to put their entire lives on hold to go spread God's love. Hannah has lived her life faithfully, that soon she can marry her best friend in the temple, and they can be sealed for all eternity.
     This weekend has reminded me that living the gospel is the happiest way to live. It is by no means easier, but I can feel the peace and love that comes from following the commandments and trusting in God's plan. Thomas S. Monson shared "of this be sure: you do not find the happy life... you make it." I believe that you can make the happy life by following the gospel and trusting in the Lord.

"Eternity is a long time to party"

     This past week my sister, Bethany, and her husband, Graham, we in Utah visiting with Graham's family. On Thursday, Bethany was able to sneak away from his family and visit me after my classes. And yesterday, I was able to spend all day with Bethany, Graham, and a couple of Graham's brothers. It was extremely relaxing and refreshing to be able to spend some time with family, especially with siblings that I don't get to see that often. As they dropped me off at my dorm and we said our goodbyes, I was just filled with an overwhelming sense of gratitude. How lucky I am that I get to spend all of eternity with my amazing siblings and their families.
     In "Filling Our Homes with Light and Truth," Cheryl A. Esplin said, "Families are the Lord's workshop on earth to help us learn and live the gospel." This quote often reminds me of how lucky I am to have grown up in such a wonderful home where the gospel was always taught and love was always present. I know that without my family, my amazing parents and siblings, I would not be the person I am today. I am so unbelievably grateful for the role that my family has played in my life, and I am so grateful that I can spend eternity with them. In the words of my genius sister, Sarah, "eternity is a long time to party."

The Gift of Repentance

     Depending on who you talk to, repentance can have a major negative connotation. A post I had seen recently on twitter said something along the lines of "I would rather marry someone who has sinned and truly repented rather than marry someone who had never sinned at all." The post faced immediate uproar that it is much worse to sin and repent than to not sin at all. In my personal opinion, it's the same. To start off, I cannot think of anyone on this earth who has not sinned, except for Christ. When we truly repent, Heavenly Father promised us that he would see the sin no more, that it is like we had never sinned at all. I think both not sinning at all, and sinning and truly repenting are both extremely admirable.
     So, in an effort to try and erase the negative connotation to repentance, this past week I read the talk "Repent... That I May Heal You" given by Neil L. Andersen. In this wonderful talk, Andersen relates that "The invitation to repent is rarely a voice of chastisement but rather a loving appeal to turn around and to 're-turn' toward God." He also reminds us of the Lord's invitation; "Behold, [my arms] of mercy [are] extended towards you, and whosoever will come, him will I receive; and blessed are those who come unto me." If repenting were such a horrible act, why would we be invited and urged to do it?
     Now, I assume the negative connotation that is linked to repentance has to do with the connection repentance has to sinning. But let's face it, no one is perfect. Heavenly Father knows and understands that. Our journey in this world is not about being perfect, but striving to be. We all sin. We all make mistakes. And repentance is our gift that we have been blessed with, that those mistakes and sins won't deny us the opportunity to return to Heavenly Father. Andersen described repentance as "turning away from some things, such as dishonesty, pride, anger, and impure thoughts, and turning towards other things, such as kindness, unselfishness, patience, and spirituality." He later goes on to say that "Repentance always means that there is greater happiness ahead."
      Repentance can be seen as one of the most merciful gifts that we have been blessed with. Just because we have sinned, does not mean we will be condemned forever. Repentance should not be frowned upon. When someone is truly repenting of their sins, they truly want to change and strive to become better. Why should we look down on that? The desire to become better is spectacular, and it can do wondrous things to an individual.

We are the Lord's Hands

      Something I have noticed since I've gotten here at BYU, is that every single week someone is opening a mission call. I have been here for almost a month, and since I have gotten here I know of at least four people who have opened their calls within the last month, two people who are turning their papers in within the month, and countless amount of people who are working on their papers. Not only does it excite me for when it is my time to open my mission call, it completely amazes me that so many people are willing to put their lives on hold for the Lord.
      This past week, I read the talk "He Asks us to be His Hands" given by Sister Cheryl A. Esplin. She immediately quotes Christ by saying "For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it." In regards to this quote, President Thomas S. Monson explained that "the Savior is telling us that unless we lose ourselves in service to others, there is little purpose to our own lives." Growing up in the church, I cannot recall how many times I have heard that we are all the Lord's hands. However, the true meaning of this statement has not hit me until recently.
     We really are the Lord's hands, so we must act as He would. We should all love our neighbor, and be kind to everyone, and give to those in need. Because that is what the Lord would do. The Lord would not let His sheep suffer and be lost in darkness. We, as His Hands, have the responsibility to help His children, whether it be to put our lives on hold to go serve a full time mission, or just reaching out to someone at church. Esplin explained "when we reach out in love and service even in the smallest ways, hearts are changed and softened as others feel the love of the Lord." I believe this is true for those who serve, and those being served. Service can do wonders, and though I still have a little more than a year till I leave for my mission, I plan to continually serve others.

Let's focus on our faith

      For the first time in my life, I went skiing this week. And in the beginning, it was the absolute worst. The first time I went down the mountain, I fell on every hill we went down. I would fall halfway down the hill and then just ride down on my butt until we hit a flat part. At that point, my friend Jack had to yank me up (because it is way hard to stand with giant skis on your feet). The only time I managed not to fall was the hill right at the bottom of the mountain. And even though I hadn't fallen, by the time I got to the bottom of the mountain I was ready to go home. It was miserable falling over and over again. But my friends dragged me on the lift a second time, and then a third.
      By the third time down the mountain, I felt practically like a pro. Granted, I totally wasn't, but I didn't fall once. And that felt like a huge accomplishment to me. I realized that I would have never accomplished this had I not gotten back up and tried again (with major help from my friends). When went down the mountain the second time, I reminded myself that I hadn't fallen on that last hill. And sure enough, it worked. Before every hill I reminded myself I hadn't fallen on the last, so I wouldn't this time. In my head, I told myself over and over again that I would not fall. I decided I was going to focus on the times that I hadn't fallen, rather than the times that I had. If I had let the fear of falling take my focus, there is no way I was going to make it down that mountain without falling.
       This week in class, we were taught a similar idea. We were in Moses 5, and we read about the sacrifices Adam and Eve and their children had offered to the Lord. After several days of sacrifices, an angel appeared unto Adam and asked why they are offering a sacrifice to the Lord and Adam tells the angel that he "know[s] not, save the Lord commanded [him]" (verse 6). We expounded on this statement in class. Adam knew what he was supposed to do (sacrifice the animals) and he knew how to do it. But he wasn't sure why. And that's okay, because he didn't let that get in the way of following the commandments he's been given. Adam didn't let what he didn't know to get in the way of what he did know. This reminded my of President Uchtdorf's well known quote : "doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith."
     Like I hadn't focused on the times I had fallen, we shouldn't focus on the times that we fail. Or the times that we doubt. We should focus on our faith. We should focus on the times that we hadn't fallen, and when we do fall, we should focus on standing back up again. Trying again. I would have never experienced the amazing thrill of skiing down that mountain if I hadn't gotten back up and tried again, and I feel that we won't be able to truly experience all that life has to offer if we stay down.

Please enjoy this really bad picture :)

He had not failed me

     The night before I flew out to Utah to attend BYU, I had a moment of panic. I had just said goodbye to the last of my friends. My room was all packed up. The pictures of all of my friends that are typically hanging on my wall were packed away in a suitcase so I could bring them here. I was so scared. I turned to one of my goods friends, Jesse, and sent him the following texts: "Okay but what if I'm not good enough?" "What if I'm not smart enough and I fail my classes?" "What if I'm not social enough and I don't make any good friends?" "What if this was all a huge mistake and I should be staying home?" I was quite honestly scared out of my mind. I was in tears, convinced that I was making the biggest mistake of my life. How could I leave my friends and my family like this? Up until this point I had been so excited to leave, so why was I now panicking? 

     It took me a few weeks to answer both those questions, but I eventually found answers. After a few weeks in Utah, I am convinced this is not the biggest mistake of my life. So far, I have not failed any of my classes (but I suppose that is still subject to change since it has only been two weeks), I have made friends who are all amazing, and as much as I miss home, I know this is where I am supposed to be.
     As a part of my religion class, we were assigned a semester long project that will help us draw closer to the Lord and will help broaden our knowledge. The project I chose is to study an hour's worth of General Conference talks every week, and to keep a journal. So this past week, I was scrolling through General Conference talks, looking for a talk that might stick out to me. Today, I ended up with a talk by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf (because let's face it, he's amazing). Within the first few paragraphs of his talk "Learn from Alma and Amulek", President Uchtdorf talks about how Alma "humbly, earnestly placed his trust in Christ's atoning power."
     It was that moment when I realized why I had panicked so much the night before I left. I had put my trust in myself, alone. I had not put trust in Heavenly Father or Jesus Christ, and because I had failed to do so, Satan took his hold on me. He tried to convince me that I was doing was wrong, and that I was making a huge mistake. In a speech given at BYU in 2001, Elder David A. Bednar said

       "Most of us clearly understand that the Atonement is for sinners. I am not so sure, however, that we know and understand that the Atonement is also for saints—for good men and women who are obedient and worthy and conscientious and who are striving to become better and serve more faithfully. I frankly do not think many of us “get it” concerning this enabling and strengthening aspect of the Atonement, and I wonder if we mistakenly believe we must make the journey from good to better and become a saint all by ourselves through sheer grit, willpower, and discipline, and with our obviously limited capacities.
       Brothers and sisters, the gospel of the Savior is not simply about avoiding bad in our lives; it also is essentially about doing and becoming good. And the Atonement provides help for us to overcome and avoid bad and to do and become good. There is help from the Savior for the entire journey of life—from bad to good to better and to change our very nature."

     I had not placed my trust in Christ's atoning sacrifice, that I can grow and better myself and learn how to serve more faithfully through this experience at BYU. I had believed that I had to do it alone, and because of this weakness, I was vulnerable to the adversary. But as said at the end of President Uchtdorf's talk, "Our beloved Savior knows where you are. He knows your heart. He wants to rescue you. He will reach out to you. Just open your heart to him."
      I know that the Lord knew what I needed when I arrived at BYU. I have been blessed with two amazing roommates, who never fail to make me feel at home and involved. My professors are entertaining and lively, and keep even boring subjects entertaining. I have been blessed with modern technology that I can easily keep in touch with my family and friends. Though I had failed to place my trust in Christ and His power, He had not failed me. And He never will.

Who am I? Why was I sent here and now?

     This past week in my religion class we have been studying the first chapter in the book of Moses, which is found in the Pearl of Great Price. The lesson started off with my professor warning us that whenever we reach a spiritual high, right before, or right after, we will hit a low. Satan does not want us to to be stable in our faith. He will do whatever he can to tear us down and drive away the spirit. He does not want us to succeed. He wants us to question our spiritual experiences, and he wants us to question Heavenly Father. Because when we succeed, he fails

     My professor related this knowledge to Moses 1. Moses is visited by God. God meets Moses half way and tells him "Behold, I am the Lord God Almighty, and Endless is my name; for I am without beginning of days or end of years; and is not this endless?" (verse 3). God later refers to Moses as "my son" three times.This knowledge that Moses was the son of God was important enough for God to repeat it three times. This knowledge relates to us, too. We are the children of God. And that is our identity. That is who we are. We are sons and daughters of an Almighty God, who loves us. 

      After being visited by God, after reaching a spiritual high, Moses is immediately visited by the devil. He is immediately faced with tribulation that is the complete opposite of the spirit he felt being in the presence of God. After several failed attempts, Moses is able to make Satan leave by calling upon the name of Christ (verse 21 & 22).

     After the visitation by Satan, Moses is able to call back the presence of God. The Lord tells Moses "And worlds without number have I created; and I also created them for mine own purpose; and by the Son I created them, which is mine Only Begotten" (verse 33). The knowledge that the Lord has created countless amount of worlds had not been foreign to me. I had the conversation with my parents and in church several times. But my professor brought up a question that had never crossed my mind. If God had created so many worlds, why was Jesus Christ born on our earth? 

     With this question, our class went to Moses 7. In verse 26 we read that Enoch "beheld Satan; and he had a great chain in his hand, and it veiled the whole face of the earth with darkness; and he looked up and laughed, and his angels rejoiced." And Enoch turned to the Lord "And it came to pass that the God of heaven looked upon the residue of the people, and he wept" (verse 27). Now, I don't know about you, but that speaks testaments to me. Heavenly Father loves us so much, even though he has created worlds without number, that he would weep for us. We live on the most wicked planet, so Heavenly Father sent his most holy. He sent His Only Begotten Son, so we could be saved. So we can return to our Heavenly Father. Heavenly Father sent His prophets so they could guide and direct us in time or peril. And He sent us.

     My professor ended the class by asking us a few questions, that I will in turn ask you. Who are you? Why were you sent here? Why were you sent here now? I personally believe that we were all sent here to fight the chains that Satan has bound our world in. We are here to fight the wicked and the sin and to bring righteousness to this world. 

     I have learned so much in my class, and it has only been two days. I have gained knowledge and been asked questions that motivate me to be the best and most righteous I can possibly be, and I encourage you to all do the same. We were sent here to better this world. We were sent to this earth for a reason. The same earth that Christ was born on.